1. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease a 9×9 inch light metal baking pan and line it with parchment paper.

2. Add the Earl Grey tea and lavender to a food processor and pulse until finely ground. Pass through a sieve to separate any large bits.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, Earl Grey tea, lavender, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

4. Add the softened butter and sugar to a large bowl. Cream together for 2 minutes on high speed.

5. Add in the eggs and vanilla and mix on medium speed until pale and smooth, about 1 minute.

6. Add in the buttermilk and dry ingredients a little at a time, mixing on low until smooth. Scrape the sides of the bowl as needed.

7. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 38-44 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean.

8. Let the cake cool in the pan for 30 minutes, then remove and cool completely on a wire rack.

9. To make the milk soak, heat milk in a saucepan over low heat until steaming. Add Earl Grey tea and lavender. Steep for 15 minutes, then strain and cool.

10. Mix the strained milk with sweetened condensed milk and vanilla bean paste. Set aside.

11. For the frosting, pulse the lavender in a food processor until finely ground. Sift to remove large bits.

12. Beat the butter in a bowl on high speed until pale and fluffy, about 5 minutes.

13. Add in the cream cheese and beat for 1 minute until fluffy.

14. Sift in the powdered sugar, then add lavender and vanilla. Beat on low to combine, then on high until fluffy. Add food coloring if desired.

15. Once the cake is cool, trim a thin layer off the top. Poke holes all over the surface.

16. Slowly pour the Earl Grey milk mixture over the cake, letting it soak in gradually.

17. Frost the top with a thick layer of cream cheese frosting using an offset spatula.

18. Cut into 16 slices and serve.